I'm so lost without him. I don't know what I should do next. It's really difficult to explain - it's like my sense of direction for my life has vanished. It's not as if I don't have a purpose, it's more like I no longer know how to aim it, what to focus it on. I can't say I have nothing to look forward to, because I do, and I am. I have so much to accomplish, yet I'm just spinning my wheels most of the time.
I don't possess the words to describe adequately how I feel.... These are the best I can come up with:
Wandering aimlessly through the forest;
Set adrift on the sea;
Floating in the vastness of space;
Abandoned in the desert;
Drifting on the wind;
Lost in the eerie quiet of the fog;
Alone in an unfamiliar place, in the dark;
Locked out in the cold.
Will I ever feel normal again? What's "normal"? I don't know anymore. But I'm not going to give up, can't give up. People are counting on me. I have so much love to give and receive. I still have hopes and dreams, believe it or not. I just need time to clear my head, to ponder what it all means.
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